Beautifully unwritten
by dropsofjupiter249
Summary: Set 10 years after high school. Karma and Amy have gone their separate ways and built a life for themselves but something beyond their control keeps bringing them back into each others lives and forcing them to realise their true feelings for each other. Told in two time lines spanning throughout the ten year period.
1. prologue

Hey. This is an idea I've had for a while now.

It's set 10 years after high school..but will go back throughout the years and tell their story and how they got to this point.

Let me know what yous think e.g if you think I should continue or not.

Thanks.

Take me to church (prologue)

She was torn. Torn between want and dread. As her eyes fell on another smiling face that wasn't the face she had been searching for. She felt a sense of relief instantly met with disappointment. She closed her eyes and took another step before opening her eyes allowing them to travel up and down another group of guests. Bringing another batch of relief yet disappointment.

She barely slept the night before, not due to excitement but she was haunted. By those eyes. Those eyes that held the power of quivering love yet also had the power to destroy her. The last 10 months had been a whirlwind but when she finally had more than a minute to herself. When she crawled into her bed and closed her eyelids that face danced into her vision, the face that framed those haunting eyes. The same haunting eyes that kept her awake.

She took another step, another breath and she looked up at the man in front of her, his upper torso twisted to look at her, a wide smile spread across his chiselled jaw. He was almost within touching distance, she was almost at her destination. Her heart thumping against her chest bone echoed in her ears, drowning out the whispers from the crowd of guests. Breathing had stopped being involuntary and she became very aware of this fact as she breathed deeply in and exhaled shallowly out. She took that one last step and came to the side of her intended.

Looking up at him, she smiled. He was a good man, and she did love him. Probably not in the same way he loved her. Definitely not in the same way she once loved the owner of those haunting eyes. But it was enough for her. Enough for her to betroth herself to this decent kind and loving man. He would treat her right. He would make a good father. She felt herself gulp at this thought. Father. She would have children with him. Just like her parents always wanted for her. It was important to her to make her parents happy. No matter what the cost.

"We are here to celebrate the union of Karma and Liam….."

Leaning forward she looked down into sea of bodies in the alter, but her eyes where fixed on only one, the bride to be. She stared intently from the refuge of the church balcony. The worn out invitation scrunched and sticking out from the denim pocket of her jean jacket. When she received it months before she fought with herself wither to open it. She didn't have to. She knew what the envelope contained. She would that perfect hand writing anywhere. Yet opening it made it all real. She ignored it. Threw it in the trash 5 times. Locked it in a drawer for two days. Even held it over a shredder for a very long afternoon willing herself to just let it go. It was that simple, let the bloody thing go and then she would never have to deal with it again. She didn't let it go.

So here she was, gripping onto a mahogany banister. Hiding from the sea of people that was mostly made of everyone she knew and loved. She brought up her other hand and gripped even tighter. Just watching. Watching without seeing or hearing. She wanted to wake up. Wanted this all to be a nightmare. She shouldn't have come, that had been another internal fight. But she had to see it for herself. She had to see the one person that she had ever loved, love someone else.

"Does anyone here know of any lawful impediment of why these two can't be joined in holy matromy?"

I do, she loves me! The words rolled about in her head. She wanted to scream them out loud. But that would have been a tad too dramatic. Then it hit her. Did Karma still love her? Shit. The thought hadn't crossed her mind. Karma was marrying someone else, she had invited her to the wedding. Karma's wedding, Karma's wedding where she was marrying someone who wasn't her.

She let go. Stumbled backwards, until the back of her knees hit a surface and her body absently fell down onto it. What was she doing? This was a mistake. Her mind travelled through their entire history, scene by scene flashed in front of her eyes. There had been so many mistakes. Was this it was this the final one? Was the investable nail in the coffin?

"Do you Karma take Liam To be your lawfully wedded husband?"

The words cut through her thoughts like a knife through butter. Causing her to find her feet and stumble back towards the banister. She looked back down to the couple, Karma's small dainty hand in his big stupid one. Jealously was rearing its ugly head. The red head looked up into his eyes and she smiled a smile that even from the considerable distance, Amy could tell was fake.

Please Karm

Karma hesitated longer than she should of, long enough that Amy saw the flicker of doubt from the considerable distance.

Just say no!

Karma's eyes darted from the man in front of her to her smiling parent's in the front row.

Please please please

Amy watched intently whilst pleading silently as the bride looked down at the floor and took a deep breath before looking back up to her parents. Amy could see the straightening of the shoulders before she looked back at the man stood in front of her.

"I do"

The final piece of her heart broke. She stood frozen to the spot. Unable to move, unable to think, unable to do. Well anything. Cheers erupted throughout the hall. She stood motionless. Watching as the ogre swept up her princess in his arms and kissed the lips she should be kissing. She hurt more than she ever hurt but she was numb, numb and frozen. All she could do was watch as he placed HIS bride back down and they began the ascent back up the aisle, hugs and handshakes coming from the audience of guests.

Just when the where about to dissappear from Amy's sight Karma instinctively looked up right into Amy as though she sensed her presence. Their eyes locked to each other's. Amy's heart leapt back into action thawing her body whilst Karma froze causing a wash of cold to run through her veins. Both girls confused,hurt,angry,relieved happy?. The only thing clear was it was still there. Whatever that was, it was there. My god it was there.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Back To School**_

"oh my god is this not the most exciting thing ever?"

Amy smiled into her phone, she hadn't even had the opportunity to say hello and already her best friend Karma was screaming in her highest voice possible at her, but she didn't care or mind one bit. This was their first day at college and she had every right to be the excited. Amy was just as excited but was able to keep her cool unlike her chipmunk friend.

"Have you met her yet, what she like, tell me everything?"

It saddened Amy a little that they wouldn't be roommates like they had always planned but unfortunately the rooming co-ordinate at UCLA didn't take their life plans and dream into account when assigning them their respective rooms.

"She isn't here yet, have you met yours?"

"I'm just on my way now, got a little side-tracked at orientation"

"Do you mean lost?"

"Whatever, it's a big place and it's all too exciting"

A knock came on the door and Amy followed the sound with her eyes, she suddenly started to feel really nervous at the prospect of sharing a room with a complete stranger, looking around the room once more it dawned on her that the room only seemed big when she was in it alone, if someone else was standing in the room, with their stuff on their side of the room it would be a hell of a lot smaller, claustrophobia set in and suddenly Amy was filled with sheer dread.

"Amy?"

"I gotta go, I think she's here"

"stay on the phone and tell me what she's like"

"I can't do that if she is standing in front of me"

"speak in code, say one word"

Karma sighed whilst walking over to the door after another chap, she opened the door to reveal a familiar red head who had the biggest shit eating grin on her face.

"Hey roomie"

Amy removed the cell from her ear and squealed in delight as her new roommate aka Karma lunged at her and wrapped herself around the confused blonde. Amy breathed with relief as she dug her face into the shoulder and relaxing scent of her best friend, she didn't know how Karma had managed this and she didn't care.

"Awesome"

* * *

The first few weeks of college whirled by, Amy still couldn't quite believe that it was real, high school had completely molded and broke her as a person. It was high school that caused her the most pain yet growth, especially after Karma convinced her that they should fake being lesbians to gain popularity, while the plan in fact did catapult them into the limelight it also kind of backfired in Amy's case when during the madness she realized that maybe she wasn't "faking it" and she was entirely and completely in love with her best friend. That itself turned into a few years of utter chaos and situations that Amy never could of imagined happening. To be fair it's not every day a lesbian falls in love with her best friend.

As of right now though things where good, Amy was completely happy and settled with her best friend at her side. What more could she want? She looked over to where Karma was laid on her front typing happily into her laptop and contentment filled her for the first time in a long time. This was everything they had both wanted since they were little girls. Next step would be getting their dream careers, Amy would become this big shot writer sell a few trillion copies of her books and Karma would succeed in being a super star singer/ movie star and eventually play the leading role in Amy's best seller once some big movie company picked it up. They would be unstoppable.

Karma Smiled at her screen, but not because of what she was writing but because she could feel Amy looking at her. She always knew when Amy was looking at her, it was like a 6th sense, a 6th sense that made her feel glorious inside. If she was honest with herself, she never in million years thought they would get back to the point they were at. The whole Liam debacle from high school left a sour taste in her throat. Every time she thought about him she thought about them, their naked bodies entangled together, touching, feeling, breathing, kissing. Bile rose in her throat. She had pissed herself off just at the thought. Slamming down her screen lid she looked at Amy who stared back, folding her eyebrows in causing that confused look she gets that just makes Karma melt. She wasn't as pissed off anymore.

Amy looked down at Karma as she lay at her side with her head in her lap while they watched a movie. This was her happy place. She was over Karma like that, at least she tried to convince herself she was, now and again she would find herself wondering what these moments meant for Karma, when they lay like this or spooned in bed at night, it was 2 weeks into the semester and Karma hadn't slept in her own bed yet. Not that Amy minded, but what did it mean? Did it mean anything other than Karma liked a cuddle at night? Amy couldn't help but wonder but she never dared ask. There were also those moments when their hugs where a little too tight or their faces lingered closely together a little too long, many times Amy thought about closing the gap between their lips but she always held back, fear of rejection consumed her far too much.

Instead she remained quiet, just let these things continue to happen. What's the worst that could happen?

* * *

Two months later

Amy struggled to hear anything over this din of noise. It was the weekend before both girls where going home for Christmas and Karma had convinced her to come to this frat house party. Karma had since disappeared leaving Amy to wander around herself. She had passed the point of boredom around an hour ago. She looked around the mass of faces and didn't recognize a single one, she couldn't even find Karma, which meant only one thing. That she has already hooked up with a random and had gone off with them. This had become a pattern over the last couple of weeks, college Karma = slutty Karma.

"Creepy loner or left behind?" Amy turned to the brunette who had just sidled up next to her on the wall she leaned upon

"Left behind" Amy nodded

"Ah, Same"

"I'm Jamie"

"Amy"

"would you look at that, hot and a poet, must be my lucky night"

Amy smiled bashfully and looked to the floor.

"not used to getting compliments or being hit on by a girl?"

"er.. urm both.. kinda, but I am.. I mean. I like girls"

"You're just too damn cute" Jamie bit the corner of her lip

"Uh. Thanks you're cute too"

That was the exact moment Amy wanted the floor boards to dissipate entirely, engulf her and close back up over her head. Why was she so excruciatingly bad at flirting or talking to a girl other than Karma? her eyes flickered across the crowd again, where the hell was Karma?

"Are you looking for someone, your girlfriend perhaps?"

"No, shes not my girlfriend" Amy was now fully distracted, should she be worried that she hadn't seen Karma for while?

"potential?"

The question stumped Amy and brought her attention back to Jamie, who was now staring at her wide eyed.

"No, Karma is just a friend"

"Good, do you maybe wanna get out of here?"

"um , yeah sure but i just gotta"

"Find your friend?" Jamie interjected

Amy smiled and nodded,

"Go ahead, ill be waiting, but don't take all night" the brunette winked

She watched the girl take a drink from her red solo cup, she was hot, like really hot, like Carmen from The L word hot, she actually looked similar to Carmen, same skin tone and body type, her hair was swept over her left shoulder with one side of her head shaved onto a pattern or was it a tattoo, Amy couldn't quite make it out under this light.

"Ill be 2 seconds"

Amy climbed the stair in the frat house, stepping over passed out drunk people and couples making out. when she eventually got to the top of the stairs, she looked round the hallway, there where 5 different door all shut tight with socks covering handles. the international sign for people hooking up. she sighed, there was now way she was going to walk into each room to check, did she really want to see that, could she really stomach potentially seeing Karma in that position with someone else. The answer to that was no, she really didn't. She turned to walk away when she noticed a 6th room, the door wasn't shut and a light was beaming from it, she walked over hoping that it would be a bathroom. It was but it wasn't empty, when she looked through the gap in the door she saw exactly what she didnt want or needed to see. In the gap she could see Karma pushed up against the sink with a guy against her.

She descended the stairs almost skipping 3 or 4 at at a time and found Jamie still standing in the spot she left put her cup down on a nearby table and moved closer to Amy. Amy felt her skin tingle and burn as the brunette slightly touched her body with her own causing her breath to quicken in her chest.

"So Amy, if you think I'm so cute why don't we get out of here?"

Amy grabbed the brunette by the back of the neck and brought her lips to her own, angrily kissing against them, Jamie didn't seem to mind as she kissed just as hungrily back, whoops and cheers erupted from the crowd and both girls broke apart realizing they where now center of attention and both practically gasping for air.

"Lets go" Amy grabbed onto Jamie's hand and practically dragged the girl from the house.

* * *

It was definitely a tattoo, she could see it clearer now in the morning light, Jamie was still sleeping but she had been awake for hours, she didn't know if it was weird to get up or weird to stay in bed with the stranger, as the minutes ticked by she was getting more and more uncomfortable, she was pretty sure she would have to have her arm cut off due to the lack of blood flow. Every time she tried to move it Jamie's stirred, and for some reason she was scared of wakening her.

"I got Waffles"

That option had been removed when the dorm room swung open and Karma's voice boomed into the room followed by the sound of something hitting the floor. Karma's eyes flicked between Amy who had sprung up into sitting position and Jamie as she wiped the sleep from her eyes and stretched out.

"This your friend?" Jamie sat up and smoothed out her hair, Amy never responded instead stared at Karma who's eyes where still flicking between the two.

"Sorry yeah, I'm Karma" she said as walked into the room and moved over the bed holding her hand displaying her best fake smile that Amy saw straight through.

"Karma, where your parents hippies?" Jamie smirked not taking the hand that was extended to her

"Yeah actually" Karma pulled her hand back and crossed her arms over her chest, the smile had faded and turned into a scowl.

"Righteous" Jamie's mocked "On that note, i gotta bounce. thanks for last night" Jamie leaned over and kissed Amy on the lips before jumping off the bed and barging past a visibly very angry Karma.

"Peace out" she made the "V" sign and slammed the door behind her

Karma turned her glare to Amy who was now looking up to the ceiling and biting on her bottom lip.

* * *

After Jamie left Karma had barely said a word to Amy, instead she busied herself with cleaning their room, or sorting her clothes out for the holidays, she never sat down once, disappearing and reappearing ever so often avoiding all eye contact. She even changed both their beds while Amy watched on, not knowing what to say, not really understanding what was actually happening and why there was this atmosphere between them. Anytime Amy tried to broach a conversation Karma found something else to do that wasn't within in the room and would disappear again.

"Karma will you just talk to me?"

"I'm fine"

"You're not, you've barely spoke to me all day"

"I've been busy"

"Karm"

"What?"

"Talk to me" she managed to stop Karma by taking hold of her wrists, Karma sighed and looked down at Amy's hand,

"Did you sleep with her?" Karma didn't raise her head. Karma didn't really want an answer.

"We were fully clothed when you came in this morning"

"So you just slept?"

"We made out for a bit then talked before passing out"

"Are you gonna see her again?"

"we never made any plans"

"Good" Karma finally looked up with a smile spreading across her lips.

Monday came around too quickly, Karma was dreading leaving Amy to go home for the holidays, it would be the first one they had spent apart in since forever, Amy's mom had been head hunted by New York's weather channel and moved shortly after the girls had graduated and Amy was spending the holidays with her. The entire holidays. It felt worse than she thought it would, especially after what happened yesterday morning, her heart fell when she walked into the dorm and seen Amy in bed with someone else. She felt a sadness she had never felt before, it made it really hard to look at her best friend. That thought scared her and as the hours ticked away like seconds bringing their departure time from each other closer dread overcame her until she felt like just locking them both inside their room for the entire Christmas period, surely it wouldn't be seen as kidnapping, she highly doubted that Amy would put much of a fight.

It was only an hour until they had to part, one little hour and then nothing for two weeks, well not nothing they would probably call and text each other every minute but it wouldn't be the same, both of them dreaded the minutes declining, both of them never said anything to each other. Each offering masked smiled, each choosing to ignore the fakeness. Talking about whatever both where feeling would mean different wounds being opened. For Amy it was the fear of losing her best friend again and for Karma it was the fear of finally admitting feelings that where surfacing, feelings that had probably always been there feelings that she had tried to push down and deny so much that even she herself began to believe her own bullshit.

Both wished they were brave enough to call time on each other, either love each other or leave it, but they couldn't because when all is said and done, they value their friendship far too much to ever put it in jeopardy again. The fear of losing each other paralyzed them and their feelings. Instead they would continue this carousel, both wanting, yearning and needing each other but both too chicken shit to admit it. So they would just go round and round loving each other like a couple but masquerading as friends.

Christmas came and went, it was the longest two weeks of both their lives, even felt longer than the time Amy took off for an entire summer with a band. They text all day and face timed each night until one or both crashed out, but now they were on their way home to each other where they belong. Amy was first to get back to their dorm, throwing her bags down on the bed and checked the time, Karma should be here any minute. Excitement coursed through her body and her heart began thundering against her chest, she couldn't wait for that door to open and when it did and Karma ran into the room and enveloped her in the biggest hug she could muster, Amy felt elated.

In all the excitement Amy lost her footing and both girls crashed down onto Amy's bed, they squealed and laughed together as they tried to pull each other out of the entanglement on the bed. limbs flapped around until they managed to pull themselves onto their respective sides facing each other. The laughing stopped as their eyes finally connected, breathing slowed and smiles faded, Karma parted her lips as though to say something but quickly shut them again and let a small almost shy smile take place.

"I really missed you" Amy said becoming the first one to break the silence and copying the smile Karma was now wearing.

"Me too"

Karma run her hand up Amy's arm then back down and stopped at Amy's hand, interlocking their fingers. Amy watched her movement then looked back, normally this kind of move wouldn't have even registered as abnormal before, but after the Jamie incident and the way Karma behaved things seemed different, like somehow their relationship had changed with the banging of the brown paper bag off the wooden floor. Just as quickly as she done it Karma dropped her hand and sat up.

"I've got you a present" the red head said and shuffled her body of the bed.

* * *

"If you do it, I'll reciprocate"

"What?"

Months passed and Semester 2 was ending just as quickly as semester 1, They had fallen back into being friend, or trying to be. On the upside neither had gone off with anyone else, in fact they had stopped going to parties altogether instead when they weren't studying they spent their nights cuddled up on one of their beds watching movies or TV shows on Amy's laptop. They were practically acting like a couple without talking about it or admitting it. that was until the last week of finals, Karma had all but given up, she was going for it regardless of the outcome, she knew Amy wanted it as much as she did, she felt it when Amy looked at her, when Amy touched her and she felt it when Amy's breath hitched in her throat when they were in close proximity to each other. Just like they were now. After having another one of their famous tickling fights they had both rolled off the bed and landed on the floor with Amy straddling Karma. She had the red head pinned down holding her hands over her head.

"Listen to what I'm saying"

"If you kiss me I will kiss you back"

Amy hesitated and held back, but Karma wasn't allowing her to this time and lifted her head up to bring their faces close together, Amy searched her eyes still trying to ascertain wither Karma was playing her, but there were no signs of jest on her face. Instead she stared back eyes fixed into her own, Amy lowered herself down until their lips where only millimeters apart, electricity sparked as Karma's warm breath tickled her lips, anticipation swirled and Amy's heart began thudding against her chest so hard that Karma could feel it or was the her own? their bodies had melded together into one trembling nervous mesh. Their lips almost but not touching, but it wasn't enough almost would never be enough, and with one last look Amy closed the gap.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys, sorry for the long wait for this chapter, alot of stuff happened personal/uni things, i wont bore you with the details. I promises ill be updating more often and quicker. Thank you all so much for all the comments so far xx

* * *

 _Chapter 3_

 _"Say Something"_

Amy's eyes sprung open at the sound of rancid buzzing escalating from the other side of the room. She tried to sit up but was tethered down by a 150 pound weight. She smiled broadly, every morning she woke up to the same sleeping weight wrapped around her and it felt glorious. She turned on her side and smiled down at the red head who was still blissfully but silently snoring away. She really was the most beautiful thing Amy had ever seen.

It was the day before their first day back after summer vacation and she was dreading it. She liked being secluded in their little bubble, where they could hide away in Karma's room and watch movies, pig out and cuddle up. The outside world caused problems. Karma was different in the outside world. To the outside world they were still just Amy and Karma, best friends since forever, but in their own little bubble they were Amy and Karma, girlfriends, soulmates and almost lovers. As much as she tried to convince herself otherwise she knew it would be worse when they got back to campus. She knew that instead of the hand drops when they bumped into someone she had already experienced, they wouldn't hold hands in the first place. As much as Karma was her girlfriend and all over her when they were in the bubble, she still hid away when in a public setting, Amy would be lying if she said it didn't hurt her feelings but it was better than the alternative right?.

Karma stirred and her eyes opened, She smiled sleepily when she Saw Amy looking back at her. She reached up and pulled Amy down to her lips, the kiss started light but escalated into a frantic fight for dominance. Karma lay further on her back and pulled Amy fully on top of her. Opening her legs so that Amy could slot her body between them. Tongues had now started to prod, swirl and lick inside each other's mouths. Karma wrapped her hands in Amy's hair and pulled her even closer causing their bodies to rock together. She moaned into Amy's lips spurring her on even more and Amy rolled her hips causing her pelvis to rub against Karma's. Another moan escaped her lips causing their lips to part and much needed air to be breathed. Hungry eyes locked onto each other's as Amy Rolled her hips again. Another moan. Amy could feel heat between her own legs and stopped rolling. Knowing that that this would be the point it would stop, but this time it didn't, she felt a hand brush up her bare thigh then travel onto her ass and grasp forcing another roll. The hand moved again this time reaching for Amy's, she let Karma take control and move Amy's hand to the inside of her own thigh this time.

Amy had stopped breathing as her knuckle brushed across the thin cotton of Karma's underwear she daren't move nor breathe, frightened that Karma would come to her senses and remove Amy's hand. Instead she kept her eyes fixed on the red head's allowing her to control what was happening.

"Touch me" Karma whispered causing another stir in Amy's groin, "I need to feel you" her husky voice whispered into the blonde's ear.

Karma dropped her hand away from Amy's and moved it to her neck to pull her back down for a kiss, Amy stalled for a second and kissed back before flattening her hand and pulling in up the length of Karma's damp underwear, the heat between her own legs intensified to the point she thought she was going to burst. She pulled up again but pushed into the dampness causing another moan. She repeated the action a few times slowly getting faster and faster with each push before realising that this wasn't having the same effect for Karma anymore, she knew she needed more. With a deep calming breath Amy let her finger trail the edge of Karma's underwear before dipping it under the soft cotton and feeling the warmth radiate against the back of her knuckle and that was it took, that was all she needed and with one move she yanked the underwear to the side and pushed a trembling finger into her love. Amy's eyes snapped shut as the motion quickened and a build-up of wonderful pressure began swirling in her groin building and building until -

"Karma, Amy?" a voice boomed from the stairwell and Amy pulled her hand from its current position as both their eyes shot to the direction of the untimely disruption.

* * *

The first month of the semester came and went in the flick of an eye, they had fallen into a ritual of going to classes and spending their evening cuddling up in front of the laptop watching Netflix. They never really ventured into the outside world or took part in the usual activities of college students. It was their own little world and they were happy with it. Well Karma was, Amy felt like they had to stay hidden and that it was a conscious decision of Karmas. The hand dropping was still a thing, she couldn't help but think that Karma was ashamed of their relationship and most importantly ashamed of her. She wanted to bring attention to it, talk to her about it but the overwhelming fear of even more rejection consumed her to the point she kept quiet. She had learned to keep her distance in public settings, never getting closer than a "friend" should, she became even more anxious with every outing and extremely aware of people that surrounded them. The messed up part of it, when they were really just platonic friends they acted more like a couple when outside. They would hug, hold hands and sit with a head resting on the others shoulder, but now it seemed like every interaction was carefully thought out, eyes would flare around if a touch or gaze was deemed just a tad too much. It killed Amy, but she had everything she had ever wanted and at the end of the day she got to cuddle up to Karma, kiss Karma, and love on Karma, that was enough for her or so she thought.

More months passed and nothing changed other than they were finally attending an event at their college, it was the Christmas ball and they both decided that they should venture out and finally start to mingle with other students. Amy stood looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, scrutinising every angle of her figure hugging green dress that stopped mid-thigh and dipped below her chest. She put her hands on her hips and bit the corner of her lip

"Karm, I'm not sure I like this dress" She shouted through the door

Amy waited a second, then another and when silence came she walked towards it and opened it to be met with Karma standing in front of the full length mirror in a very short little black dress. Stunned, her eyes travelled the barely there fabric, starting from the short hem line and raising to the curvaceous breasts that just about popped out. Her red locks hung loosely curled on her slender shoulders and Amy's breath caught in her throat.

"Wow" she said with the last bit of air that managed to escape her mouth

A smile crept across Karma's lips as she turned and proudly placed her hands on her hips. Amy stood motionless just staring. Completely in awe of the girl stood in front of her. Completely dumbfounded at how beautiful she was. Completely not wanting to go out anymore and completely just wanting to stay in and do unspeakable things to the hot sexy incredibly gorgeous girl stood in front of her.

"Take it that means I look good?"

Karma didn't wait for an answer she didn't have to, instead she walked over to Amy, dropped one of her hands from her hip and wrapped her fingers around the back of the blonde's neck and pulled her lips down onto her own. They had kissed that much that their lip melded together fantastically, they knew each other's routine so there was no longer any awkwardness, no accidental clashing of teeth, no head bashing. It was perfect, they were perfect. After the kiss started to intensify Karma pulled back and smiled broadly.

"I'm never gonna get tired of that reaction" she said resting her forehead against Amy's while both girls tried to catch their breath.

"Good"

As they walked into the hall room that was decorated from floor to ceiling in ice blue crepe paper the music immediately hit them. The room was full with other students, laughing, talking and dancing. Karma turned to Amy and gave her one of her widest smiles, the kind of smile that illuminated her entire face and made Amy's heart bounce around her chest. Amy couldn't help let a mirrored smile escape along her own lips as the Red head excitedly nudged her shoulder into the blondes. They stood for a second longer and looked around the room before Karma started emphatically waving in the direction of a group of girls gathered at the non-alcoholic bar who waved her over. She turned to Amy who without saying anything nodded her head and allowed herself to be dragged by the wrist towards the gaggle.

"Hey" Karma said as the reached their destination and in turn hugged each of the three girls.

She introduced each of them to Amy, turns out that the girls where Karma's friends from her acting class, friends that Amy would swear blind that Karma had never mentioned. The worst of it all was when Karma introduced Amy has her "roommate". Amy felt like a freight train had just pummelled through her stomach followed by a sledge hammer to her chest. She wasn't naïve in any sense of the word and knew that Karma wouldn't be shouting it from the roof tops but it still hurt, it hurt more than she ever imagined it would. It killed more than any previous hand drop did but she couldn't show it, she couldn't get angry or storm off, she knew this was the deal as much as she hated it and didn't want it to be. So instead she stood there projecting a smile whilst her heart was breaking. An hour passed but to Amy it felt like five. They were still stood with Karma's friends and she was wrapped up in talking and laughing with them, unknowingly ignoring Amy.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom" Amy finally said interrupting the laughter, Karma's eyes widened as though she finally remembered that Amy was there.

"Do you need me to come with you?" she asked

Amy looked at her before shaking her head

"No I think I'll manage" Before giving Karma the chance to say anything else she walked off.

Amy was seething, all the previous hurt was now replaced with anger that was coursing through her body. Luckily and almost unbelievingly the restroom was empty apart from one occupied stall. Amy stormed in and threw her cell phone down on the tiled ledge and began to pace up and down the room. Trying to calm herself down taking deep breaths in and out with every other step. She wanted to scream, but she wasn't as dramatic as that, she wished she was one of those people but she couldn't and wouldn't be. The only thing that stopped the pacing was when the restroom door swung open and a group of girls entered the room. She picked up her phone and trudged back out of the bathroom anger still coursing through her.

She looked over to where Karma was still stood with her classmates and felt even angrier at the fact she hadn't even bothered to come find her. She looked over to the exit and decided that it was time she left. That was until she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Of all the balls in all the world"

Amy swivelled around at the familiar voice and the anger washed away when she was met with her ex-girlfriend and good friend Sabrina smiling wildly back at her. Without thinking she threw herself at Sabrina who enveloped her in a huge hug.

"What are you doing here, I thought you went to Georgetown?" Amy asked after they pulled apart.

"I did, I mean, I do, but it's not really working for me so I am exploring my options"

"So you might be coming here?"

"I was just looking but they are definitely some bonuses appearing" Sabrina winked causing a slight blush from Amy.

"So tell me everything, what's new, are you dating anyone?" Sabrina asked watching Amy intently as the smile dropped from her face and she just stared back blankly, how the hell was she gonna explain this one. Especially to Sabrina and especially with their history.

Unbeknownst to the pair their entire interaction was being watched by a very upset and angry Karma who was now making her way through the crowd towards them, her face twisted and after 30 angry footsteps she arrived in front of the pair as their eyes and bodies snapped around to her, Amy took a step back almost as though she was guilty of something. Karma noted it but was more interested in removing her Amy from Sabrina the teenage bitch. She had hated Sabrina as long as she had known her, hatred that had stemmed from jealously. Jealously that grew when they were actually together, the images of Amy holding, kissing and loving Sabrina drove Karma insane, it made her insides hurt so freaking much that she was sure they would burst through her skin. She slid in the space between Amy and Sabrina with her back towards the latter, Sabrina whilst shook her head.

"I'm ready to leave now"

"How are you Karma?" Sabrina tried to duck her head around to face Karma

"Just dandy, let's go Amy"

"Yeah, I don't think Amy is ready to leave, so as always it was nice seeing you, the door is that way"

Karma spun around and Amy sprung to her side eyes flaring between the two,

"Amy will leave with me, won't you babe?" a wicked smile spread across her lips as Sabrina's face fell at the realisation of what Karma was saying. Sabrina's eyes flicked to Amy who was now staring at the floor.

"Tell me she's lying"

Amy said nothing and stared blankly between the pair, Sabrina looked at her with pitying eyes while Karma was goading her into telling the truth. Irony is a funny thing.

"You're an idiot if you're with her"

"c'mon Amy, let's go, you have a nice night" Karma said and wrapped her hand around Amy's and began to drag her off, leaving Amy mouthing sorry to Sabrina.

"NO!" Amy pulled her hand from Karma's grasp as they reached the entrance area of the hall building

"We'll talk about this back at the room"

"No we will talk about this now!" Amy stopped as Karma turned to face her.

"This isn't the time or the place to talk about this Amy"

"Why not? Are you embarrassed by me?"

Karma took a step closer

"Of course I'm not but I just don't want our life spilled out in front of the entire student body"

"That's the problem Karma, you always want to keep me hidden"

She took a step back, she never tried to hide Amy, at least not intentionally.

"That's not true"

"Yes it is, we've been together since last June but you introduce me as your roommate, how do you think that makes me feel?"

"What was I supposed to say?"

"That I'm your girlfriend Karma, not your fucking roommate"

"It's not as easy as that"

A ringing sound came from Amy's cell phone. She looked at the unknown number on the screen before silencing the noise and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Why Karma, Why isn't it easy? Is it not true?"

A few bodies has ascended into the entrance, and Karma took a step closer trying to quiet the now escalating fight

"Of course it's true, you know how I feel about you" she all but whispered

"Yeah I do when we are alone, but in public you treat me like a stranger"

The phone rang again and Amy sighed when the same unknown number appeared on the screen, again she silenced the call.

"That isn't fair Amy"

"No what isn't fair is walking down the street and not being able to hold my girlfriends hand, what isn't fair is having to hide how much I love you in front of people we care about, what isn't fair is this relationship Karma"

"What are you saying?" Karma asked looking at the floor

Amy opened her mouth to talk but her phone started ringing again. Both sighed this time, but Amy clicked answer this time and lifted the phone to her ear.

"What?!" she shouted into the plastic before her eyes widened and her heart fell, without saying anything further her arm holding the phone swung to her side.

Karma's eyes travelled Amy's face,

"What? Amy what's wrong?"

"My mom"


	4. Chapter 4

For the past week I have been staring at and editing this chapter, Ive held back from posting it because I wasn't sure it comes across how I want it to. I am at the point that I can no longer edit it or write more as I fear I will ruin the parts that I'm actually happy with. its also shorter than usual because I don't want to move the story along in this part, (a lot is going to happen in the next few chapters).

Anyway thank you so so much for the kind comments so far I really do appreciate them..

J x

* * *

" _Amy, baby sit down"_

 _Karma's words went unheard, she watched her, she watched every part of the girl she loved fall apart and there was nothing she could do to fix it. She watched her pace from one end of their small room to the other opening and closing the same drawers over and over again without actually taking anything out. She had tried stopping her, tried to pace behind her and slow her down but she was gone. She wasn't there anymore and nothing seemed to be getting through to her. So she continued to watch her every move. Back and forth she still went, still to the same drawer, still leaving with nothing. Karma had already packed their bags, and the flight wouldn't be leaving until 3:20am it was currently 12.01am. They had at least an hour before they had to leave for the airport. An hour worth of pacing. An hour worth of Karma watching Amy on her fruitless journey._

* * *

 **Chapter 4 - "Heartbreaker"**

"She will remain in the ICU until she stabilises, the next few hours are critical"

Karma stood still and let the doctor's words wash over them. She heard him, of course she heard him but she couldn't react instead she stayed motionless while she felt he heart being crushed under the weight of each breath she took, this couldn't be happening, not to them, not to Amy, she was 20 for fuck sake. Karma looked to her right where Amy was stood motionless staring blankly at the wall behind the doctor.

"Do you understand what's happening to your mother?"

The doctor looked in the direction of the blonde and then to Karma.

"Amy?" she softly prompted looking over to her

"I heard him" she snapped at Karma.

Karma turned her attention back to the doctor with an apologetic smile and he smiled kindly in return, looking at the two girls in front of him and his heart faltered. They couldn't have been any older than his own daughter and that thought caused his heart to break just a little. He couldn't imagine his daughter being able to understand or cope with this kind of information.

"Is there anyone else we can contact, family member or friends?"

Both the doctor and Karma looked at Amy who continued to stare at the wall.

"No, it's just Amy and her mom"

His heart broke even more as he looked between the two very young basically children in front of him.

"I really think you should have someone here, for support"

"My parents are on their way"

He nodded and with a kind smile and exited the room.

Karma watched the door close and heard the loudest silence she had ever experienced and it was excruciating. The room seemed to be closing in around her and she didn't know what to do, she wanted to say something comforting but she didn't know what to say. She trembled and hugged her arms around herself for comfort. She herself was also only 20. She wasn't mature enough to deal with this, she wasn't ready or adequate enough to deal with this. She needed a proper adult. Not two kids who were only in the second year of college. Her eyes wandered to the clock that seemed to tick louder when she looked at it. Her mother and father would be there in a few hours, she just had to somehow hold it together for both her and Amy until then.

"Karm?" Amy's voice out of the silence startled her

"Yeah?" she turned and looked at her.

"She's going to be alright, isn't she?"

Karma swallowed the lump that had took residence in her throat. She thought for a second, she wasn't sure how to answer that question. As much as she prayed and wanted Farrah to be ok, she just didn't know but how could she say that out loud. She had seen too many medical shows to know that critical condition usually meant bad things were going to happen. She looked at Amy who was now looking back with hope in her eyes, a single tear fell and cascaded down her cheek. Karma's heart broke apart in that moment.

"Of course she is" Karma turned and wrapped her arms around Amy and tried to hold her close.

Suddenly Amy dropped to the floor breaking the silence that had crept on them again with a scream followed by violent sobs, she was completely broken, Karma looked down at her and saw the girl she loved break apart piece by piece like a thread unravelling. She instinctively fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around Amy holding her as tight as she could. She wanted to sooth her, tell her everything was going to be ok but she couldn't, she didn't know if it was. As Amy continued to sob between breaths a lump began to grow in Karma's throat gaining mass with every heart breaking sob that left Amy's body. It burned her causing tears to well in her eyes but she fought against them, this wasn't her time to cry, this was her time to prove to Amy that she could be strong for her. She would be the rock she needed to be despite the tears and hurt that was cascading inside her. She looked to the ceiling and willed the lump to disappear and the tears to stop.

Karma couldn't help but wonder how they had gotten to this point, a few hours ago they were arguing and she was sure almost breaking up, since then they had went back to their dorm room, packed a bag and boarded a plane to New York. The whole time saying nothing to each other. The 4 hour flight was spent with Amy sat literally on the edge of seat fidgeting with the latch of the folded up tray in front of her until it broke off in her hand. Karma watched silently and did nothing but hold her hand.

An hour later and after Karma had managed to coax Amy onto the sofa she was asleep, resting her body against Karmas she slept for the first time since the night before. Karma's head was stilla reeling with everything that had happened in the last 24 hours, all she kept thinking was 'how the hell did it get to this?' This time yesterday everything was normal, she was sleeping soundly in bed with Amy with not a care in the world. But now everything had changed and would probably never be the same again. She thought back to their fight, she knew it was selfish but she couldn't help herself wonder what the outcome would have been if that phone call had never came. Was Amy really going to break up with her? Her heart sunk at the thought. She loved Amy with all her heart and didn't want to fathom a life without her.

The door to the room creaked slowly open stirring Karma from her thoughts and her mom's head popped through the gap. Karma brought her finger to her lip and motioned to the still sleeping Amy, moving slowly she manoeuvred herself out from under Amy and creeped out the room. Both her parents where there and instantly wrapped her up in their arms.

"What's going on?" her father asked as they broke free from their hug.

"Farrah had a heart attack" Karma could feel the lump rising again at saying the words out loud.

"She had to have a surgery and the doctors said she's critical and…and"

Karma broke, tears started to bounce down her cheeks and she fell against her mother, sobs erupting as both her parents tried to calm her. She cried for what seemed like an eternity until she heard her father call her name. She looked to him and followed his eyes to where they were pointed. A dishevelled Amy had emerged from the room and was standing in the doorway her worried red eyes zoned on Karma,

"Are you ok?" she asked taking a step towards Karma and her Parents, Karma let go of her parents and moved towards her

"Don't you dare ask if I'm ok" Karma replied and engulfed the blonde in her arms.

They were interrupted by the doctor who had approached them and introduced himself to karma's parents before turning his attention to Amy. Her eyes widened at fear.

"Your mother is awake and is responsive"

"Can I see her?" Amy moved towards him

"She's still very tired but I'll let you come in for a few minutes" he replied and started down off the hall with Amy following briskly behind.

A week passed and Farrah had been taken down to a normal ward after being cleared by the ICU. Since admitted and her surgery she had come out leaps and bounds and was already talking about going back to work which was usually met with a stern look and roll of the eyes from Amy. Since their arrival Karma's parents had been great, they basically took over everything from talking to the doctors to forcing both Karma and Amy to go back to Farrah's and sleep and most importantly shower. For the first few days after Farrah had come around Amy was adamant she wasn't leaving the hospital and slept on the couch in the family room accompanied by Karma who was in turn adamant not to leave Amy.

However a week had passed and Karma's parents had to go back to Texas, they couldn't take any more time off away from their business. Amy and Karma still hadn't talked about what had happened before she had received the phone call about her mother. It played on both their minds but both refused to bring it up for fear of where that conversation might take them. So instead they acted like it had never happened, denying all knowledge seemed to be working for them so far. Over the last week Karma had become over protective of Amy, catering to her every need, being a shoulder and body to cry on. Amy liked the new attentive Karma, but wondered if this was all just because of what was happening and feared that once they get back to school after the winter vacation if she would retreat back to the stand offish Karma she had come to know.

Another week passed and Farrah had returned home, Amy did everything for her, much to Farrah's annoyance, she was getting healthier and healthier by the day but Amy was content on treating her like an invalid, Karma tried to talk sense into her but she had become possessed by Florence Nightingale's ghost. Something had changed within her something that Karma couldn't figure out, at first she thought she had just got a fright at the thought of losing her mother and while it was completely justifiable she realised that wasn't what was going on with Amy.

Amy had pulled away from her, they were barely spending anytime together and when they did it was to eat, even their sleeping situation had changed. Karma would sleep in Amy's bedroom whilst Amy would more often than not fall asleep on the couch. They barely spoke about anything and when they did it was mostly being polite to each other, they were living like strangers. Which made Karma's stay there all the more awkward so she decided to broach the subject of their return to college.

"What do you mean you're not coming back with me?"

Amy had already turned her back after delivering the news she had been dreading since she made the decision a few days ago.

"I can't just leave her" Amy tried to explain

"So you're never gonna come back?" Karma had ducked around Amy and forced her to look in her eyes

"Of course I am, just not just now" Amy darted her eyes in the opposite direction

"Then when?"

Amy looked to the floor

"August"

Karma's eyes flared with anger, August was 8 months away.

"What do you mean August? Amy you can't just miss school!"

"I've spoke to the dean, I'm taking the 8 months off as a gap year"

"You've already spoke to the school? Without even discussing it with me?"

"I'm discussing it with you now"

"After you've already made your mind up" Karma snapped

"She's my mom Karma"

"Yeah and I get that, but you can't jeopardise your future"

"I'm not, I know what I'm doing"

"So where does that leave us?

Amy looked to the floor, she knew deep down where it left them but she wasn't ready to admit it to herself let alone say it out loud. Long distance relationships barely worked out, and theirs wasn't exactly on strong foundations as it was. She choked back the tears that where threatening to fall from her eyes and finally looked back up to Karma whose eyes mirrored hers with the same tears threatening to fall, Amy didn't have to say anything, Karma could read her like a book she always could but right in this very second she really wished she couldn't because knowing exactly what Amy was thinking and feeling was ripping her apart at the very seems. She took a step towards the blonde, reaching out her hand fell onto Amy's arm, who looked away as the threatening tear escaped down her face, she reached up with her other hand and with the pad of her thumb she caught the tear and wiped it from Amy's face while a tear fell down her own cheek.

"I can't believe this is ending" Karma cried.


	5. Chapter 5

_"Let It Go"_

 **Chapter 5**

She watched everyone from her window go about their day to day lives. Hundreds of people bob and weaved out each other's ways. All in different directions, all different lives, all different people. She sighed and turned back to the empty room. For some reason it seemed a million times bigger since she had been back at dorms and a million times more lonelier. It had been nearly a month since she returned from winter vacation and she hated every single minute of every single hour of every single day. College wasn't the same without Amy, her life wasn't the same without Amy. Throwing herself down on the bed she picked up her phone from the side table and pulled the screen into view. Nothing. Well nothing from who she really wanted to hear from Just like an hour ago. Just like yesterday. Just like the day before that, and the day before that.

They both promised that the break up wouldn't affect their friendship and that they would talk every day. That didn't even last the first week post-breakup. Karma never expected it to but held onto naïve faith that it would. Every day she checked her phone, every day she was disappointed. It hurt. It broke her heart that Amy didn't even think enough of her to send one little text. Every day resentment grew for her so called best friend and ex-girlfriend. Resentment she never thought she could possibly feel towards Amy.

Turning on her side she looked over to the photo of the pair of them dressed for Halloween, both smiling and both so happy. Everything had changed so much since that photo, they had changed so much since that photo. She looked at Amy closely and realised that maybe they hadn't changed at all. Maybe she had changed, ever since her mother was taken into the hospital Amy became extremely distant to the point she didn't even recognise the girl who she used to know inside out. Karma wasn't selfish she understood completely why Amy had begun to become distant. She almost lost her mother for fuck sake. That was enough to change anyone, but she never in a million years thought it would get to the point it had. She never even fathomed that they would be on a non-talking basis.

She felt lost and alone in a city she once loved but now loathed. When they first arrived here they had each other. They didn't need anyone else. They hadn't bothered to make any friends and Karma was now seeing the problem with that decision. Now that Amy had left her. Left her in the city that was supposed to change their lives. She decided to change that small fact. On her noticeboard was a flyer she had been handed the day before for a party that was happening tonight, Cinderella shall go to the ball and Cinderella shall meet and become friends with people whose name didn't start with an A or end with a Y.

The plan didn't work. Even in her cutest dress and killer heels no-one came over to her. Not even any of the drunken frat who normally drooled all over her. She sat in the corner, the smell of stale beer and vomit in the air. Music bounced throughout the frat house and in Karma's ears. She was bored. She had a drink in her hand and she was bored. There really was a first for everything. She looked around again, boys played beer pong in the far away end of the house. Couples sucked each other's faces off and people tried their best to dance while downing as much alcohol as possible. Did she really want to make friends with any of these people? the answer to that was a resounding no. she only really wanted on particular friend.

The last thought saddened her and she realised sha was missing Amy she missed more now than she ever did. Taking out her phone she began to write a new message, she deleted the message. Tried again, then deleted that message. All she had written on the screen was "HEY". That's all she could come up with, that was all that needed to be said, wasn't it?

"Karma?"

Her eyes flicked up to the direction the voice came from and she almost died when she saw her old high school friend Shane walking towards her waving like a maniac with the biggest grin on his face, she sighed to herself and shoved her Phone back into her bra and stood to attention while he moved towards her.

* * *

It was 2am. Amy had struggled to get to sleep for the past 4 hours. She was getting more frustrated with every hour that had already passed. New York was loud. It was loud and it was obnoxious. And Amy hated it. She hated the people. The traffic. The smoke. The congestion. But the thing she hated the most was that Karma wasn't there. She wanted to go back to LA. 4 months in New York was more than enough. 4 months with her mother was way more than enough. Farrah was back to her normal annoying self. Bossing Amy around and making comments on every decision Amy was making. Enough was enough. She thought about cutting short her gap year but how could she after the way everything has been recently or to be more realistic how things hadn't been.

For the first time in her whole life she couldn't recall the last time she had spoken to Karma. It must have been more than 2 months. But every time she picked up the phone to make a call or write a text something always stopped her. She just didn't know what. It's the strangest thing in the world when you're not friends with your friends anymore and also the most heart-breaking thing. She was plagued tonight. Plagued by every minute of their lives together. She was all she could see. All she thought about but clearly Karma didn't share the same notion. She picked up her phone and thought about texting her then she thought against it. Instead she scrolled through Facebook and yawned at all the uneventful posts that people deemed appropriate enough to share. To be honest she wasn't really paying much attention until her heart stopped beating and her hand froze. There on her screen staring back at her was a picture of Shane with his arm around Karma and that caption "lunch with this beaut"

She was smiling on of her biggest fakest smiles. Amy knew all the smiles and this one didn't cause her eyes to smile. Amy loved it when Karma's eyes smiled they sparkled like a million little diamonds. It gave her a million flutters in her stomach, but in this picture her eyes seemed cold, they seemed jaded. Her face looked skinnier and she was so pale that her skin had almost become see through. Amy's heart broke a little, she looked a ghost of herself formal self, a ghost with a perfect smile. She stared longer at the screen. Studying every inch of the picture. She zoomed in on her eyes, they were missing there sparkle. Maybe it was just the way the picture had been taken. Maybe it was something more. Maybe it was nothing. Amy's heart still continued to tug. Had their break up done this to her? Had she herself done this to her?

She wanted to talk to Karma more than she ever did. Could she? They hadn't spoke for months. Could she really just pick up her phone and call her? Did she still reserve that right? She zoomed in on the photo again, then zoomed back out sill inspecting every inch of Karma's face. She clicked off from the image altogether and clicked into her phonebook. She stared again. Karma's name just sitting on the screen with two options next to it 'call' or 'text' it seemed so simple in moment, but then her eyes flicked to the clock on the top of the screen caught her eye it was now 2:27am meaning in LA it would be around 11:27. Wasn't dreadfully late. Yet she still hesitated. What if she woke her? What if she was mad? What if she didn't want to talk to her?

She decided to text instead of calling. But again that itself ended it turmoil. She was frustrated with herself. Gone are the days of not having to second guess a possible interaction with her best friend. Gone are the days of just sending stupid emoji's. Her thumbs danced while suspended over the on screen keyboard. Words escaped her. The only one she had managed to tap out was "Hey"

For now it was just gonna have to do and she hit send.

* * *

"He makes my nipples tingle just looking at him"

Shane shoved his phone underneath Karmas nose. Forcing her to look at the latest Calvin Kline model in his underwear. She smiled and looked away from the screen. He watched her, like he had for the last few weeks. He was sick of this shell of the former feisty red head he once knew. It was driving him mad. Throwing his phone down he rose to his feet and held out his hands, she looked questionably at him

"What?" she asked looking at his hands then back to his face

"I'm sick of this funk, I'm sick of looking at these drab four walls, I'm going to give you a movie style montage make over and then were hitting the town and painting it pink" he over emphasized the word pink with a flash of his hands

She opened her mouth to protest which he silenced by dragging her to her own feet. And shoving her towards the bathroom

"Shower and shave" he demanded with one final push she spun around eyes wide with shock, he pulled the bathroom door shut silencing her further protests.

Twenty minutes later she emerged from the bath room with a towel wrapped around her body and one around her head, his eyes travelled the length of her

"Look at you, you have legs, who knew"

She scrunched her face up and fired him a look of distaste. On her bed he had laid out several outfit choices but was still flipping through her closet. She looked at each outfit instantly dismissing every one of them. Sweat pants where more appealing to her, just like they had been the last 6 months. The only good thing that had come out of her one attempt to leave her dorm room was that she met back up with Shane and as much as he moaned about spending most nights hauled up in the small room she appreciated his company and friendship.

"Ah perfect" He turned from the closet and held up a blue dress and shit eating grin. His smile and enthusiasm was infectious and She couldn't help but smile back. She did love that dress.

2 hours later they entered the club, Karma had on the blue dress that stopped just below mid-thigh showing off her long slim legs with a pair of heels that laces up over her feet. She had curled her hair then straightened it out so that it sat in wave over her shoulders. Heads turned as she walked by crowds of people, guys and girls both stared, for the first time in months she felt beautiful, she felt elated at feeling something other than hurt and loss. A smile formed on her lips. A real smile that she didn't have to force. Shane put a drink in her hand and after downing the drink in almost one mouthful she felt a familiar confidence taking over her. Her smile broadened.

More drinks and a lot of dancing later, both her and Shane where in the middle of the dancefloor, dancing together, dancing with various strangers. She was having fun, She didn't have a care in the world, no inhibitions. No ex-best-girl-friends plaguing her. She was finally free. It was exhilarating. So when a random guy sidled up behind her and put his arms around her waist she didn't care. She danced with him, he grinded against her and she grinded her bum in his groin, he kissed the back of neck, she moved her head to allow more access. He spun her around and locked his scratchy mouth on hers, she accepted the kiss and kissed him back. A feeling rushed through her, a feeling she hadn't felt for the better part of a year. A yearning, a need for something more. She pulled back to look at him, he was tall, very muscly and good looking, she smiled, he'll do she thought to herself, reached up and put her hand to her nape of his neck and pulled his lips back on hers.

Karma and Shane started going out most nights, it became their thing, and after a while it brought them even closer together. So much so that Shane had practically moved into her dorm room. They spent every minute that they weren't in class together. Mostly planning where they were headed to that night, whose turn it was to hook up depended on where they went. They would trade off nights, when it was Karma's turn they would head out to a random straight club and when it was Shanes they would head to "Bloom's", the biggest and best gay club in LA. Tonight it was Shane's turn. They started their night with their usual routine of getting ready while drinking their pre-drinks, they sang along to the iPod dock and laughed as Shane pranced around the room exaggerating the lyrics. Their laughter stopped when they heard a knock on the door. They both looked each other then to the door then back to each other when another knock tapped on the wood. Karma shrugged her shoulders and Shane moved over to the door and pulled it open.

After a few seconds of silence and Shane staring out the door he cleared his throat and looked around to Karma

"You better come in" he said opening the door wider and taking a step back, the smile had faded from his face completely, Karma rose to her feet trying to see who it was but stopped dead when her heart fell to her knees which in turn turned to jelly when the familiar blonde stepped into the room, their eyes instantly locked, it had been 8 months since they had seen each other, 8 months since they were in the same room, 8 months since they breathed the same air. Silence fell fast like a thick fog, the music continued to play but their breathing overtook any other noise.

"I erm. Better go" Shane practically fell over himself rushing out the door. Karma was too dumbfounded to try and stop him.

The door closed and both girls continued to stare at each other, Karma wishing she had took that other drink and Amy wishing she was anywhere but here, it seemed like hours had passed but in reality it was probably just seconds.

"What.." Karma cleared her throat

"I mean, when did you get back?"

"Pretty much now" Amy replied

Karma nodded slowly

"For good?"

Amy nodded then shrugged her shoulders

"That's if you still want me to be your roommate"

Karma didn't reply, instead she dropped her eyes to the ground and hugged her arms around her upper torso, which hurt Amy, she didn't expect a welcoming party but she didn't expect this either.

"Karm" She took a step closer causing Karma to take step further away

"Don't" she whispered still not looking up from the suddenly fascinating worn out carpet

"Why?" Karma asked

"Why what?" amy replied confused

"Why are you back, why now?"

Amy opened her mouth to answer but was silenced when Karma continued to talk

"Why haven't you called or text?"

"I .."

"You know what, I can't deal with this" Karma finally looked back up but began to move her feet, and barged past Amy and out the door before she could stop her. The door shut with an almighty bang causing Amy to jump. Amy looked around the room, it seemed so familiar yet to strange at the same time, Karma had redecorated, well she had put up some posters and flyers from various clubs. She walked over to what used to be her bed and fell down onto the edge of it.

"fuck" she breathed into the silence.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys, thanks for all the follows and reviews I've received since starting this fiction, it really means a lot. I like reading what you guys think, and take on board any criticism or suggestions, so please feel free to review and let me know what your thinking, or even if you don't like certain things. J xx

* * *

Chapter 6

 _"Dancing on my own_ "

Amy paced back and forth in the dorm room switching between hurt and worry. The look in Karma's eyes haunted her, hatred had replaced the bright sparkle that one illuminated her face. It tore at Amy's heart to witness such a change especially when those eyes used to look at her like she was the most incredibly amazing person in the whole world. Now she had dull eyes, like glass doll eyes. Nothing sang from them the way they used to. She had done this, it had to be down to their break up. It still broke her apart to think that they were no longer a couple, they had fought so hard to get to the point they had before Farrah became unwell and Amy abandoned Karma leaving a broken shell of her best friend/girlfriend and it was evident Karma couldn't even stand the sight of Amy and the knowledge of that broke Amy apart completely. She thought back over the last few months she could of made more on effort to contact Karma but she struggled with it , she never knew what to say and so she didn't say anything and without realising hours turned into days and days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months.

She stopped pacing when she realised that there was no trace of her in the room, not a picture or a scrap of her remnants. It was as though she was never there in the first place, peeling over to her cabinet she pulled open the drawer but found nothing, she tried again in her desk drawer again there was nothing, she made her way over to her side of the walk in wardrobe but all she found was empty coat hangers. she could see nothing to suggest someone else, mainly her lived there, until her yes fell upon 2 boxed stacked neatly on top of each other in the dark corner, grabbing onto one of them she pulled it out in the middle of the room. It was sealed with tape, on the top of it was a sticker with Amy's mom's address scribbled in Karma's handwriting. Tears fell fast as she ripped open the box revealing what she had been reduced to. The last remaining strings of her heart finally tore apart when she realised Karma had erased her from her life completely. All Amy was to her was two old shitty supermarket boxes in a closet.

* * *

"You can't keep ignoring me" Amy pleaded pacing behind Karma as she packed another overnight bag.

"Watch me"

"Karma!" The red head stopped just as she reached for the door and sighed.

"What?"

"We need to talk"

"I have nothing to say" and with that she left.

This was how most of their interactions had been over the past week. Karma barely returned to the room but when she did it was only to get some more clothes or books. She stayed out most nights at Shane's or random hook ups, never being in Amy's company for more than 10 minutes. She couldn't, every time she looked at the blonde she felt betrayed. So instead she promised herself not to look. She would purposely not stay in the vicinity of Amy long enough to engage in any form of conversation. She had perfected getting what she needed and leaving whilst slamming the door behind her in a matter of seconds, Amy was getting far too used to this. After the door had shut Amy sighed and pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts until landing on a name whose texts and calls had been left unanswered. The dialling tone rang a few times until Sabrina's voice picked up at the other end.

* * *

They decided to meet at a local coffee place. Amy arrived first and nervously played with a loose bit of cardboard from that little holder thing. It felt weird to feel something other than sadness, but when Sabrina walked through that door she felt instant relief and a little happiness. There was finally someone who would talk to her and wouldn't slam a door in her face. Sabrina bounced over with an infectious smile on her face and wrapped her arms around Amy and for the first time in over a week Amy felt something other than fear and dread. All her anxiety faded and her body relaxed in Sabrina's she could of held on forever, for those brief few seconds, there was a sense of peace within her and she relished in it.

Hours passed like minutes, several cups of coffee had been drunk and the girls still continued to talk, so much had happened for both of them since high school that they were almost tripping over each other to speak. Sabrina sat quietly and watched Amy as she went into some details about what her mother had gone through and how much it scared her, she saw the tears build in her eyes and swore she could see Amy gulp back a tennis ball in her throat. She reached across the table and placed a steadying hand over Amy's, Amy stopped talking and looked down with a smile on her lips, it felt nice and comforting to have someone listen to her. She almost cried at the first little bit of intimacy she had felt in months. Intimacy she thought would be coming from Karma but yet she was not disappointed it had come from Sabrina. Their meeting ended the same way it started, with a hug that Amy never wanted to be disbanded from. They decided to meet up every Wednesday for a catch up, mostly for a hug on Amy's part. They stuck to their agreement and soon once a week turned into twice a week and then to them spending almost every day together and before either of them realising months had past.

* * *

Karma awoke and sat up, she looked around and never recognised a thing but this had become normalcy for her. Most days of the week she woke up in a strange dorm room or apartment after going to after parties when the nightclubs would end. She groaned as pain pulsated through her head, at first she didn't know wither she was still drunk or hungover but when the pain in her head reassured her she was in fact hangover. she looked down to the body also lying on the couch with his head against her feet and smiled with a sense of relief seeing her new best friend Shane soundly asleep beside her. She lay back down and wrapped her arms around his legs and tried to fall back asleep, but just as she was about to fall back into a deep sleep Shane sprang up and jumped from the couch.

"We're late" he exclaimed and was on his feet faster than Karma could open her eyes. She winced in more pain and groaned into the fabric of the sofa her.

"We've got class" He shook and pulled at her.

"Its Saturday" she groaned trying to turn back

"Its Friday Karma, move that butt"

They both squinted and shielded their eyes as the morning light shone down on them, Karma's head spun, she definitely felt the furthest away from fine as she could. Unfortunately this was a daily occurrence. They looked at each other with the same dreading look then shook their heads,

"Coffee?" he smiled

She smiled a big smile and took his arm as they headed in the direction of the coffee shop and away from the campus where their morning class was beginning.

Amy and Sabrina had just heaved themselves up onto the tediously high stools at their favourite table at the coffee shop. It was situated in the window at the far corner of the shop, away from everyone that they could talk inanely but close enough to be able to see everything that happened. It had become their own little seclusion spot but also a great place to people watch and observe. They would get lost for afternoons playing the "Gay or Straight" game, of course there was never a winner because they would never find out if they were right or wrong but to them it was still fun. Amy had came to love these afternoons spent with Sabrina it made what was going or not going on with Karma bearable, Sabrina was talking about one of the classes she was doing when Amy's eyes flicked over to the counter and her heart stopped. Sabrina noticed the colour drain from her face and twisted her head over her shoulder following her line of vision she found Karma and Shane both looking back wide eyed. All 4 sets of eyes glued on each other until their order was placed on the counter in front of them and they walked to the opposite end of the shop and sat down.

"Do you want to leave?" Sabrina asked turning back to face Amy who shook her head.

"Take it she's still ignoring you?"

"She'll calm down eventually"

"You've been saying that for over a month now"

Amy simply shrugged looking defeated, she always looked defeated these days and it killed Sabrina, she used to be so bubbly and bright, always had a smile on her face. Now she just looked beaten and empty. It made Sabrina sad to see the difference in this girl. She wanted to reach out and take Amy in her arms and make everything better but she knew she couldn't as much as she hated to admit it she knew deep down that Amy still wanted Karma. It's the way it's always been since camp and it's the reason they broke up in high school. She wanted to shake the girl and say "I'm right here just look at me" but she knew it was never going to happen, it hurt her, it hurt her so much that Amy wouldn't look at her the way she did Karma.

"What do you say we do something different tonight?" Sabrina asked watching Amy looking at Karma from the corner of her eye. Amy stirred her coffee with a spoon and looked back at Sabrina

"Like what?"

"I don't know, we can maybe go to a club?"

Amy looked at her sceptically

"What club?"

"I keep hearing about this place called Blooms"

Amy shrugged uninterested and started stirring her coffee this time her eyes following the swirls.

"C'mon Amy were in our 3rd year, it's our last chance to be young and stupid"

Amy looked back up and rolled her eyes relenting.

"Ok"

Sabrina squealed in delight causing the entire place including Karma and Shane to look at them.

* * *

Another drink was placed in Karma's hand and she greatly accepted it knocking it back in one foul tasting mouthful before handing the glass back to the barmaid and continuing to dance in the middle of the floor with Shane. People surrounded both of them, some trying to dance up on Shane and some on Karma, she would be lying if she said she didn't love the attention. A girl was dancing sexily behind her and gyrating her groin into Karma, who allowed herself to get lost in the movement. She looked to Shane who was also gyrating with a guy in a red t-shirt, getting more and more personal with every twerk of their hips. She smiled, College was awesome.

"So what do you think?" Sabrina shouted into Amy's ear as her eyes travelled around the Smokey sweaty Club, it was smaller than she expected with a hell of a lot more people than she thought possible.

"It's great" she said sarcastically eyes still rolling her eyes around the place, Sabrina watched her wondering if she would ever have the blondes full attention and not just be peripheral.

She looked for a moment longer, then drank the last in her glass , placing the empty container on the table in front of her she turned to the blonde and before allowing her common sense to change her mind she grabbed Amy by the neck and pulled her towards her crashing their lips together, at first Amy didn't respond, it took a minute for her brain to catch up with what was happening, Sabrina was kissing her, her ex-girlfriend was kissing her when she was still hung up on her other ex-girlfriend. It wouldn't have been fair on Sabrina to continue but it felt nice, it felt almost safe. She didn't pull back instead she let Sabrina wrap her arms around her neck and she finally kissed back allowing entrance for Sabrina's tongue.

Across the dancefloor Karma's world crashed around her feet, she could hear her heart thud in her ears drowning out the music, tunnel vision had took over and shadowed everyone around her as she zoned completely on the two girls making out in a darkened corner. Feeling like her heart had fell into her stomach she continued to watch the scene playing out in front of her until all the hurt had been replaced by a darkness that was consuming her, anger has taken over all her senses and her feet began moving of their own accord, without thinking she was hulking through the crowd as they parted like the red sea making a path for her,

"No karma don't" Shane whispered into his the lip of his glass loud enough for only himself to hear while a wicked smile formed on his lips and he positioned himself in a better vantage point sipping at his drink.

"Hey sexy"

"Not now" he said pushing the red t-shirt boy from earlier out his line of vision.

A strong hot hand gripped on Amy's arm and pulled at it causing both the kissing girls to snap apart and be greeted by a very red faced Karma, their eyes flicking from each other to Karma they looked just as shocked as the other. Amy's heart jumped into her throat. Karma's eyes where fixated on her for the first time in months

"We need to talk, NOW!"

Amy didn't put up a fight and was about to let herself be dragged off when Sabrina blocked Karma's exit.

"She doesn't want to talk" she snarled in Karma's face,

"Back off" Karma ordered getting in Sabrina's face, but when Sabrina refused and stood strong she pushed her whole body into the girl forcing her way through causing Sabrina to fall down to the floor. Amy snapped from the trance she had fallen into and forcefully pulled her arm from Karma's vice like grip, and instantly went to the aid of Sabrina.

"What the hell Karma!"

Snapping back into reality Karma stood flicking her eyes between the pair, she herself shocked at the way she had just acted, her mouth opening and shutting without saying anything. She watched silently as Amy helped Sabrina onto her feet, she took a step forward to apologise and help but froze when Amy put her own hand out to stop her

"You've done enough"

She tried opening her mouth again but Amy shook her head looking disgusted by Karma and began to lead Sabrina away from her and out of the club. All she could do was stand there and watch knowing that every eye in the club was now upon her, embarrassed she stifled a tear and began moving as quickly as possible towards an alternative exit.

* * *

Karma sighed, looked at the clock once more and continued Pacing the path she had been for the past couple of hours. She was waiting for Amy to come back from wherever she had disappeared to with Sabrina, the more time that passed the angrier she got, the image of them kissing burned into her mind as her feet began getting heavier with each step. Anger pulsed through her again as she tried to force the image out her head trying not to think about what Amy was doing that precise moment, wither they were kissing again or even worse. She sighed again, the clock only showed ten minutes since the last time she looked, It was now 2:30, she gave up and threw herself down onto the edge of bed.

Lying back she stared at the ceiling, the most sobering thing in the world was seeing the girl you love make out with someone you hate. She felt sick, the image still dancing around her head, but she couldn't be mad, not at Amy, really she hadn't done anything wrong. She sprung up at the sound of keys rattling in the door, it creaked open and Amy walked in. She looked over to where Karma was now sitting staring back at her and sped into the toilet dropping eyes as she swept past her.

"Amy?" Karma tapped on the door after what felt like hours passed.

Nothing but silence came from the other side of the door.

"Amy please?"

Still nothing, Karma reasted her forhead against the door

"Please, we need to talk"

She almpst fell forward when the door was yanked open from the other side and Amy emerged.

Amy now stood infront of her arms folded angrily over her chest

"Well?" she asked avoiding all eye contact

"well, what?"

"You wanted to talk, so talk"

Karma said nothing and Amy sighed moving past her.

"Amy"

"What?, you say you want to talk but you've not said anything other than my name"

"Why are you so angry?"

Amy stared at her, disbelief consuming her body.

"Seriously, are you joking?"

"No" Karma looked to the floor ashamed,

"You're unbelievable for months you have ignored me, for months you've barely looked in my direction but tonight when someone else pays me attention suddenly you think you have the right to charge over and stake you claim as though I belong to you!"

Karma continued to look at the floor not saying anything until she reached out and grabbed onto Amy's hand once again pulling her towards her, this time their lip crashed together, quick and hard lips pushed against each other's but Amy snapped back, eyes angrily searching Karma's who tried to close the gap again pulling her once more but Amy resisted, her eyes darting every millimetre of Karma's face. Eyes, lips, eyes, cheek, lips, eyes, lips, lips,lips. Amy closed the gap this time. They crashed backward until Amy's back landed on the opposite wall. Karma kissed hard pushing her body into Amy's, who moaned into their kiss but it was Karma who pulled back this time and dropped her head to the floor again.

"I'm sorry"

Amy tried to catch her breath as she tried to figure out if she had heard right. She s was left looking at the top of Karma's head, that's when she saw it, the slightest movement of her shoulders, and she realised that Karma was crying. She took a step forward and Karma instinctively looked up as a tear rolled down her cheek, Amy instantly softened and wrapped her arms around Karma's shoulder pulling her in tight to her own body. They melded together in sync, both holding tighter to each other than they ever had before, neither wanting to part for fear of distance again.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 _"sorry"_

Karma had been driving an awfully long time, Amy looked around and saw nothing but fields and trees on each side of the car, now that she actually thought about it she couldn't recall seeing a car in at least half an hour, she looked harder and further around herself at the non-descript surroundings and then to the profile of the red head sat beside her. Karma's eyes where burned into the road ahead of her, her knuckles showing white with her hands gripping onto the steering wheel keeping the car steady on the bumpy country roads. Amy studied harder, her mind starting to wonder, was she being kidnapped? There was nothing apart from them and this road, yeah, this was how she was going to die she thought to herself. It would be fantastically tragic. A young writer on the cusp of greatness, struck down in the prime of life by her psychotic ex-girlfriend.

"Why do you keep staring at me?" she asked alternating her eyes from the road to Amy

"Sorry" she muttered, and dropped her eyes to the fumbling hands in her lap, "Where are we going?"

Karma smiled, "Just a little place I know, don't worry I'm not kidnapping you", she joked and looked to Amy who was now smiling nervously.

"Oh my God, You think I'm kidnapping you"

"No, that would be silly!" Amy took a little too long to answer

Karma looked back to the road again. Then back to Amy.

She often wondered what went in inside the blondes head, she was so fantastically imaginative that sometimes she really did let her imagination run wild. She usually loved it, it reminded her of the many days they would spend together making up stories. The locations didn't matter, time didn't matter, and Amy could make a story out of anything. They would spend hours and hours lost in a fantasy world orchestrated completely by Amy's imagination, Karma loved her daily visits to these worlds, to other lives. To possibilities that where endless. It was magical, it made her believe in a magic that the cold hard world was missing. It made her believe in happily ever after.

"What?" Amy asked suspiciously eyeing the smile that had crept along Karma's lips.

"Nothing" she shook her head and both girls returned to staring at the road as it unfolded in front of them.

* * *

"Is it much further?" Amy groaned as Karma manoeuvred her up a clearing path while covering her eyes with her hands.

"Stop moaning, I'm the one struggling, you seem freakishly taller than normal"

"It's not my fault you're like 4 inches tall"

"Funny"

They came to a stop at the top of a hill, there was nothing but grass and hills around them apart from a small but extremely beautiful gushing waterfall. The water streamed majestically 14 feet down into a small ravine. It was gorgeous, and serene. Karma pulled her hands from Amy's eyes and instantly Amy basked in her surroundings. She didn't say anything, she couldn't even if she wanted to she was dumbfounded by the beauty that was in front of her, she just stood at the edge, holding onto the man made banister watching the water. The splashing of the water echoed around them creating the only noise that could be heard. Karma stepped back until she was sitting on the bench, shoving her hand in her hoodie pocket for heat she watched Amy see her little corner of serenity for the first time and she was reminded of the first time she found the clearing when she was on her week long health kick after Amy moved to New York. She woke up one morning after a sleepless night and needed to run, as fast and far as she could. Taking to the woods she pounded along the paths until her legs where about to drop off, looking for a seat she saw the clearing and had become obsessed with it.

It was her place to go alone and think, to sort her head out, or just for peace and quiet. There was always something missing though, and today she realised what that missing part was.

"Its absolutely stunning" Amy breathed, still transfixed in the vison in front of her. Karma in turn was transfixed in the vision in front of her

"It really is" she smiled to herself.

Amy eventually turned and moved over towards Karma taking the seat beside her and without thinking Karma laid her head instinctively on Amy's shoulder,but only for a second until she felt Amy's body stiffen at the over familiarity.

"Are we going to talk about Friday?" Amy asked not taking her eyes from the waterfall. Karma sighed and removed her hands from her pocket and swung her body around so that she was sitting with cradled legs facing her side,

"What about it?"

Amy turned, and looked at her. Karma looked at the bench and began to dig her nails into the wooden ridges. It was Sunday. Almost two whole days had passed and neither broached the subject until now. After karma broke down Amy put her to bed, fighting against every urge to crawl in beside her and hold her for the first time in months. Saturday was weird, they talked but didn't, mostly random stuff about the last few months, when it came close to even the temptation of talking about anything else one or both would the change the conversation. Both skating around the subject.

"Karma"

"Amy"

"Karma!"

"Ok, what do you wanna know?"

"Why have you ignored me the last couple of months?"

"It was easier" she shrugged picking at the wood again

"Than what?"

"It doesn't matter" she replied peeling a slither of wood from the bench and throwing it to the side

"Tell me" Amy begged

Karma looked up to Amy who was staring back, her crystal eyes twinkling from the glare of the water. Then back down to the crumbling wood chips.

"looking you in the eyes, living without you was the hardest things I ever had to do Amy, it hurt not having you there, it hurt not talking to you every day, I had to learn to live a new normal, I had to learn to live in a world that you weren't apart of and it almost destroyed me"

Amy gulped back the lump that rose in her throat, she looked away and swiped a tear that had fallen.

"and then all of a sudden you're back, without a word of warning, I just wasn't ready to look at you again, " Karma sniffed back a tear

"It wasn't easy for me either Karm"

"I know"

"but seeing you in that club kissing Sabrina, something inside me snapped, and for that I'm sorry"

Amy reached out and put her hand over Karma's and squeezed it,

"You don't need to be sorry, but for what it's worth I'm sorry too"

Karma finally looked back and smiled.

"Yeah you better be, because I'm finally ready to look at you again"

"Me too"

They both smiled inanely at each other before engulfing each other in a huge hug both clinging to each until they almost fell off the bench.

* * *

Monday came round far too quickly, Amy was sore from the miles of walking Karma made her do the day before but still managed to pull herself up onto the high stool in the corner of the coffee shop, she took a sip from her coffee and placed it back onto the table, across from her sat another coffee but Sabrina hadn't arrived yet. Amy felt nervous, more nervous than she usually did before their meetings, she put it down to their kiss in the club and their brief touch of lips when she walked Sabrina back to her room that night. The door opened and her eyes flicked to it, but it wasn't Sabrina. She looked to her watch, she was already nearly 15 minutes late, and Sabrina was never late. She began to panic, what if she wasn't going to show, what if Friday night had been too much for her. Worrying she felt for her cell in her pocket and pulled it out. But she needn't have bothered, two hands covered her eyes and she felt a breath whisper in her ear.

"Guess who?"

She smiled and a sense of relief washed over her, she pulled at the hands and allowed the body to swing into view, Sabrina smiled broadly as she hopped up onto the opposite stool. Amy watched her intently as she took a swig from her coffee and sat it back down in front of her being careful to wipe away any stray foam that didn't make it into her mouth. She found the entire movement oddly hot.

"So how was your weekend?" she smiled

"It was," Amy stopped, she was about to say great, but that would follow up on explaining why it was so great. How could she tell the person that she was potentially dating, that also happened to be her ex-girlfriend that she had an amazing weekend due to the fact that she made up with her best friend who also happened to be her ex-girlfriend. Her head almost melted.

"Amy?"

She snapped her eyes back to Sabrina

"Sorry, what?"

"Your weekend?"

"erm yeah, it was ok" she shrugged her shoulders and tried to calm down. Hoping this would cease any further questions about this weekend.

"and Karma, did you speak to her at all?"

Amy's head melted again, this was it, this was the moment she was about to witness Sabrina scoot out of here like Wyllie coyote, beep beep. She leaned forward and took a longer than needed sip of her coffee and watched the cup as she placed it down on the table in front of her. Sabrina watched the entire interaction raising one of her perfectly sculpted eyebrows.

"um, yeah actually she was back at the dorm when I got back on Friday" Amy didn't look up, she had to play this off as neutral and natural as possible. Sabrina leaned back in her seat as though she was steadying herself.

"Ok, what happened?"

"Nothing really, we just talked" Amy shrugged eyes still fixed on the mug in her hand

"And are you guys, like friends again?"

Amy nodded,

"Yeah, I think we managed to sort everything out"

"Oh"

"But, just friends, were not anything more." Amy was in full panic mode, she left out the part that it was Karma that made it clear they were just friends, and it wasn't until she said it out loud she realised that she was disappointed by the "friends" label. She looked to Sabrina, who's eyes where worriedly travelling every millimetre of her face.

"So where does that leave us?" Sabrina carefully asked

"There's an us?"

"There is if you want there to be"

Amy didn't answer, she didn't have to. The smile on her face said it all, the smile on her face quelled any doubt the Sabrina was having.

* * *

"It's just so frustrating, I'm so frustrating"

Karma threw herself down on top of the bed face planting the mattress, and beating it with her closed fists. Shane looked at the heap and rolled his eyes before going back to perfectly ironing his shirt.

"You're telling me"

She rolled onto her side and glared at him, resting her head on her arm. She picked up her phone that landed beside her when she fell and threw it away again after checking for the non-messages that where on it. She groaned again, he rolled his eyes again.

"If you didn't mean it, then why say it?"

He made it seem so simple and Karma hated him for it. She wanted to scream at him that she only said it because she thought that's what Amy wanted to hear. She didn't want to just be friends with Amy, she never wanted to ever just be friends with Amy but In that moment with those glistening pools of blue staring wide eyed at her, she truly believed that's what she wanted. So she said it, she told the love of her life that they were better as friends and she's hated every minute since.

"Cos I'm in idiot"

"Oh, two for two" Shane quipped and received a frosty stare from karma.

"Look, you and Amy are meant to be, it's cosmic or whatever, you will work it out"

"You really think so?" she sat up, optimism ringing through her, Shane looked at her and rolled his eyes at her naivety

"It's time for you to leave, I have a date with red shirt and you need to not be here," he said reaching over to her and pulling her off the bed then shoved her towards the door.

"Ok, I love you bye" he said closing the door leaving her standing in the hallway.

* * *

Amy sat on the window ledge typing into her laptop. She was wearing her maroon university hoodie with the hood up and had her right leg curled under her on the ledge with her left leg swinging over the edge, there was no light in the room other than the glow radiating from her screen, it's how she loved to write, it's how she felt comfortable writing, it's when she was most focused. Nothing but the sound of keys tapping and her own thoughts. She wrote sentence after sentence, not stopping for spelling mistakes, loads of red and blue squiggly lines appeared on her page but she simply ignored them, and continued to watch her own fingers dance along the keys. Words where pouring thick and fast from her fingertips and she was completely engrossed in her own little world.

So much so she didn't notice Karma enter the room and approach her, her bones almost jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand land on her shoulder, she jumped that much that it caused Karma to also jump with fright, both girls laughed and threw their hands over their chest trying to stop their frantically beating hearts.

"What are you writing?" Karma asked looking at the blue faced Amy thinking how cute she looked in her oversized hood. Amy looked back to her screen then back To Karma, she suddenly didn't remember a single word that she had written,

"It's just an idea I had for a short story" she said pulling down the screen and leaving them in darkness, she quickly opened the screen again until Karma managed to locate an actual light while laughing.

"Thought you were going out tonight?" Amy asked sliding down from the ledge and landing on her feet. She stretched up to the ceiling with both her hands intertwined and cracked almost every bone in her body at the one time. Karma winced, but almost stopped dead when she turned her eyes and managed to catch just the slightest flash of stomach skin as Amy's hoodie rode up. It was almost nothing but it was enough to send a flush through her skin and a quiver in her breath. She turned her back to the blonde to try and hide her reaction, acting as though she had walked in on her in the shower and was giving her privacy.

"Have you eaten yet?" she asked not looking over her shoulder, Amy broke from her stretch and looked confusingly at Karma's back, trying to figure out why it was that she was looking at and not her face.

"No, do you wanna get a pizza or something?" she answered and continued to watch the back Of Karma's head.

An hour later, karma tipped the pizza delivery guy and closed the door, Amy was sat on her bed with the laptop balancing on her knees, ready to hit play on the Netflix film they had spent the last half an hour trying to choose. Karma shuffled up on the bed and landed next to Amy, who had placed the laptop between both their legs, she handed her a piece of pizza and they both rested back on the wall for support. Things felt like they were finally getting back to normal and they both took great comfort in it.


End file.
